Cerpen karebaindonesia.id edisi 13 September 2020

Ganang Ajie Putra

“Jadi bagaimana?”

“Bagaimana apanya?”

“Kamu tahu lah. Aku ini sedang sebal.”

“Ya sebal karena apa? Masa kamu sebal sama orang lain, tapi cerewetnya sama aku.”

Selimut yang membungkus badan kita, terus kau tarik ulur. Kadang kau tarik sampai menutupi seluruh tubuh kita, kadang kau buang sampai jatuh di perut. Kalau sudah begini, kepalaku rasanya makin pening saja.

Aku akhirnya memilih untuk keluar dari balik selimut dan menuruni ranjang. Tentu saja itu membuatmu menggerutu dan kudengar sedikit kau menggumam dengan intonasi meninggi dan irama yang panjang sekali.

Daun pintu kamar kutarik dan membikin engsel pintu sedikit menjerit. Aku memang tidak punya cukup waktu untuk meminyaki mereka. Hidup sebagai budak di kota, bikin waktu tak pernah tersedia bahkan untuk pergi merawat diri ke salon pijat refleksi.

Selain isi kepalaku yang setiap hari dibuat hampir meledak oleh bosku yang keparat, seluas bentang punggungku ini juga tampaknya memang perlu dipijat. Sering kali ketika aku meliukkan tubuhku, menarik setengah badan ke arah berlainan dengan setengah badan yang lain, akan keluar bunyi menggeretak dari dalamnya.

Ada sedikit harapan sebenarnya dariku untuk ibu jarimu agar ia mau sedikit memberikan tenaganya untuk menekan-nekan bahu hingga tulang-tulang yang meluas di punggungku. Tetapi untuk sekarang ini, rasanya muskil sekali.

Aku mengambil rokok dari kantong celanaku yang menggantung di balik pintu sebelum menerobos ke dapur. Aku membuka kulkas yang otomatis menyalakan lampu di dalamnya dan menerangi isinya. Setiap raknya masih putih cemerlang sekali. Masih belum ada noda ataupun bau aneh yang meruap dari dalamnya. Seingatku, aku masih menyimpan sekaleng bir di sana. Tetapi aku cuma menemukan dedaunan di kotak paling bawah yang harusnya telah menjadi berkuah di dalam panci. Betul juga. Aku belum mengisi perutku sejak tiba di rumah yang disambut oleh masam bibirmu.

Aku duduk sebentar di atas wastafel yang berhadap-hadapan dengan kulkas. Memijit kening sedikit dan memikirkan betapa sialnya hidup yang tak pernah kehabisan nafsunya ini. Aku mengambil sebatang rokok dan membuang bungkusnya ke tempat sampah yang berada tepat di sebelah kakiku. Sial, ternyata ini rokok yang terakhir.

Waktu remaja dulu, ketika masa awal pengenalan manis busa filter dengan bibir, kawanku pernah berkata kalau rokok terakhir yang tersisa dari dalam bungkus, adalah rokok ternikmat dari seluruh batang rokok yang ada dalam bungkusnya. Aku belum begitu mengerti ketika itu karena biasanya sebungkus rokok yang aku beli berkat patungan dengan beberapa kawan dan itu berarti belum tentu aku yang menjadi pengisap sebatang rokok pamungkas pada bungkus itu. Tetapi kini, aku telah mengerti maksud dari kawanku itu.

Aku belum menekan sakelar sehingga asap yang mengepul dari mulutku terlihat amatlah jelas dan panjang sebelum kau turun dan menyusulku ke dapur yang langsung mengaburkan kenikmatan kesunyianku. Kau menekan semua sakelar yang menempel di tembok rumah dan menghentikan pesta batin yang baru saja aku mulai. Aku menyipitkan mataku sebelum pendar cahaya yang masuk ke dalamnya membuatku terbiasa.

Padahal aku suka dengan suasana yang gelap. Bagiku kegelapan memberikan ketenangan, memberikan waktu untuk mendengar setiap denyut jantung dan merasakan aliran udara yang keluar-masuk paru-paru. Dalam gelap, aku merasa bisa menemukan diriku sendiri.

Tetapi kau lebih senang seperti emas yang kilau benderang dan suasana hatimu persis seperti harganya yang naik turun tergantung pada situasi di luar dari dirimu sendiri. Kebetulan, setahuku harga emas akhir-akhir ini sedang naik.

Kau menyelinap di antara kedua kakiku. Kepalamu yang ditutupi rambut sebahu menempel di bawah janggutku. Dadaku terasa sedikit sesak setelah menerima benturan dari punggungmu yang agak lebar itu.

“Kalau kamu izinkan, besok akan kubawakan satu selop rokok untukmu,” katamu sambil menggerak-gerakkan jarimu di atas tempurung lututku.

Kau melangkah maju sedikit dan memutar kepalamu. Hidungmu yang panjang itu seperti mengubah dirinya menjadi seruas jari telunjuk yang seakan memerintah arah mataku untuk terfokus hanya pada wajahmu.

“Jangan coba menyogok aku.”

Aku membuang pandanganku dengan mendongakkan kepalaku ke arah langit-langit. Rokok kuisap dalam-dalam dan membuang kepulan asapnya ke atas. Kau menarik janggutku dan membawa mataku kembali ke wajahmu.

“Aku tidak menyogok. Aku hanya sedang berusaha membuatmu mengerti.”

“Memangnya hal penting macam apa yang harus aku mengerti tengah malam begini?”

Aku mengisap kembali sebatang rokok paling nikmat itu dan mengembuskannya perlahan. Pelan sekali seperti tiupan kabut yang bergerak sedari tipis hingga menebal. Abunya kubuang ke dalam wastafel supaya aku tidak perlu repot membersihkannya. Aku benar-benar tidak tahu caranya menghindar dari seranganmu selain dengan usaha menghabiskan batang rokok di selipan jariku ini.

“Jadi begini, suamiku sayang. Kamu tahu, kan, tetangga kita yang suaminya kerjanya jadi tukang ketuk palu itu?”

Aku hanya menjawabnya dengan suara deham dari tenggorokan dengan dua nada.

“Sepertinya mereka sedang mengibarkan bendera persaingan dengan kita!”

Kali ini kau meremas lututku. Sepasang alis matamu menukik dan saling menemukan di pangkal hidungmu. Aku tidak ingat kau pernah sesemangat itu mendulang cerita untukku. Tiba-tiba, ada semacam prasangka meriap ke dalam kepalaku.

“Kok kamu bisa berpikir begitu?”

Kau lantas bangkit sepenuhnya dan bergerak menjauh mendekati kulkas. Kau berdiri di sebelahnya dengan sebelah tangan bertolak ke pinggang. Serupa model iklan yang sedang mempromosikan barang dagangannya.

“Kamu ingat tidak? Waktu kita beli kulkas ini,” katamu bersemangat sembari menepuk kepala kulkas, “beberapa hari kemudian dia juga beli kulkas. Terus kita beli mobil, dia juga ikut beli mobil. Dan kamu tahu nggak, minggu lalu, waktu aku dan ibu-ibu komplek lagi arisan, kita semua ngomongin dia sebelum dia ada di tengah-tengah aku dan ibu-ibu komplek yang lain. Dan salah satu dari ibu-ibu komplek itu ada yang cerita kalau istri tukang ketuk palu itu banyak duit karena suaminya makan duit hasil suap. Kamu pasti lebih ngerti dari aku soal itu.”

Matamu berapi-api menceritakan aib seseorang yang bahkan samar-samar dalam ingatanku. Jujur saja, aku bahkan tak pernah kenal dengan orang-orang komplek ini. Aku tidak punya waktu untuk menghapal wajah-wajah mereka. Wajahmu saja cuma aku ingat kalau aku sudah di rumah dan kembali lupa besok paginya.

“Dan yang paling bikin aku dan ibu-ibu lain juga sebal, sewaktu dia datang, kami langsung bisa menyadari kalau dia sedang berusaha pamer. Dia pakai kalung yang besar sekali seperti rantai anjing dengan liontin bermata kristal di tengahnya! Aku tahu dia sengaja pamer, sebab kalau tidak berniat pamer, dia pasti akan memasukkan kalungnya itu ke dalam bajunya sehingga ketika dia sedang membungkuk, kalungnya itu tidak bergelayut tepat di depan mata kita. Asal kamu tahu saja, saat itu dia membungkuk sampai ratusan kali. Kamu harus percaya itu karena aku menghitungnya sendiri! Kamu pasti tahu bagaimana menyebalkannya melihat orang pamer seperti itu. Ada rasa ingin mencakar wajahnya dengan kuat, mencabik kulit pipinya dan mencolok matanya. Tapi aku menahan diri untuk tidak melakukannya. Kamu juga tidak ingin aku melakukan itu, kan?”

“Aku tahu maksud kamu apa.”

Aku bisa melihat senyum yang mengembang di garis bibirmu. Kau menunduk sedikit sambil mencuri pandang padaku dengan mata seperti bayi yang sedang merayu meminta susu. Kau melenggang perlahan ke arahku dengan gaya berjalan seperti seorang model pada gelaran fashion show Victoria’s Secret dengan gerak super lambat.

“Jadi, bagaimana?” tanyamu setelah kau telah kembali mendarat dengan sempurna di hadapanku. Kali ini, aku sama sekali tidak menyukai caramu menatapku.

Aku menyedot kembali rokok yang hampir habis dimakan angin. Tiba-tiba rokok ini rasanya jadi tidak enak. Aku langsung membuangnya ke wastafel dan memutar tuas keran. Bara di ujung batang rokok padam terguyur air. Aku membasuh tangan, membilasnya dengan sabun dan mengeringkannya dengan mengusapnya ke bajuku. Aku meninggalkan matamu yang masih berkilat-kilat itu kembali ke kasur. Tiba-tiba, ada perasaan yang memintaku untuk buru-buru tidur. Dan aku mendengar kembali suara gerutu yang lebih jelas dengan intonasi yang lebih tinggi dan irama yang lebih panjang.

Kalimalang, 2020

Ganang Ajie Putra lahir di Jakarta, 14 September 1993. Menulis puisi, cerpen dan novel. Saat ini menetap di Cibinong, Bogor. Mendirikan komunitas puisi di Cibinong bernama Ruang Suara. Buku puisinya yang baru saja terbit tata cara berbaikan (Rua Aksara, 2020).
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